UNSPOKEN

However, today was different. I paid good money for a professional letter writer to read a letter that I had received yesterday and later found out that it was my Di Di (younger brother) who had secretly sent me a letter informing me that his wife had given birth to my healthy nephew. I was proud that he still had me in his heart, despite our family’s choice to cut off all contact with me when I had left home just because I did not want to get married to the suitor chosen by my Ah Ba (father).

I was restless at night. I did not have a good rest and my head was filled with thoughts, knowing I could never see their smiling faces ever again. Only at the sound of the street chickens in the early morning did I realise it was already time to get to work.

The sun beams down on my back as I work in silence. I lift baskets of bricks and tools in my rattan baskets, bringing them to the other working sisters. I repeat this until the sun sets. I pack up and start to walk back home. When I’m walking back home today, I realised the urge to give up and go back home is slowly wearing off. It is tiring and lonely everyday. But there is not a second where I regretted making this choice. I still remember the feeling of receiving my first salary that was earned with my own pair of hands after my first month in Singapore. It made me feel that I can actually build a life of my own and I loved this fulfilment.

Ah Mui came into my room shortly after dinner to find me, she said, “I know that leaving the family is never easy but you have to be strong for yourself. We are humble and honest, strong and resilient, you are here and alive, be proud of what you have achieved and look forward. You are not alone here.” She smiled and gave me a tight hug before she left. I think of her words and the elder sisters who work alongside me, the ones that have been labouring longer than me.

I have heard their stories, similar to mine, some not even receiving secret letters from their families, they have been abandoned and forgotten. I think of how much they have endured and I harden my mind. Ah Mui is right, I am not alone in this, being sad will not help me now. I must learn from my older sisters and be a stronger version of myself to survive this life.